Love. What a wonderful feeling right? Its just a simple four-letter word which makes the world go round. When it comes to love, there are a lot of types, i.e., the love between a parent and their child, platonic love, romantic love, the love among siblings, etc. Something that remains constant within all the types of love is the fact that the person involved feels safe within the other’s presence. There is room for mental development and support when it comes to love, no matter what type it is. While there are a lot of days to honor the other types of love like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, this Valentine’s Day is exclusively for celebrating the spirit of romantic love.
Even though a lot of philosophers have tried defining love, it never worked out. One of my friends always used to say that, “A person can make you feel more in 2 months than how someone made you feel in 2 years. The time they spend with you doesn’t matter, rather the way how they make you feel does” and I think about it a lot. Even though a correct definition of love is non-existent, there are a few characteristics of being in love.
The characteristics of being in love with someone:
- You’ll have a sense of interest towards them. You would love to know about their deepest darkest secrets. You’ll admire every single thing they do as if it’s a rarest phenomenon to see. You note down some small little things they’ve told you and make sure you act accordingly.
- The feeling of making them happy which makes you happy in return is one of the main characteristics of love. The feeling to be near them and to interact them whenever you get the chance is priceless. You’ll make them feel special and understood by laughing at all of their silly jokes which no one ever smiled at.
- You will be very much interested in giving them enough or more attention. Like said before, the interest on them leads to giving attention to all the small things possible. You will listen to them when they rant about their day and give them enough time and space. Love is just a matter of mutual respect and understanding!
- You tend to make a lot of sacrifices by leaving what you are doing at the current moment and tend to direct all your attention towards them.
- Love can also be a space for mutual growth. You’ll bring the good in your partner and the partner will bring the good in you. When you talk or interact with them, your partner shouldn’t feel like anxious or uneasy.
An important point to remember here is the fact that the above-mentioned points should go both the, ways, i.e., love must go both ways. Both of you must feel the same way to be in a happy and healthy relationship.
If it’s meant to be, it will be. If it is not, just hope that you’ll meet them in another life. Just wish them well and if you really love them, you won’t go around and stalk them. If you really loved them, you will understand when they say “no” to you. If you really love them, you won’t go around and follow them, pester them to love you back. That’s not called love, it’s called dominance. Just because you see someone being beautiful and you have a slight admiration doesn’t mean that you’re in love with them. It also doesn’t mean that you have to go and stalk them till they say “yes” like how our movie culture has romanticized toxicity.
Love is a feeling where you feel safe within someone’s presence, Love is a feeling or a space where someone is good for your mental and physical health as well as you being good to their mental and physical health. Love requires balancing. Love requires understanding. Some people hurt the people they love. They might talk to everyone in the room but you. They might mentally hurt you so bad to a point where it settles in your heart as a deep scar. People also say things like, “Is your partner hitting you? That’s one of the true signs of them loving you because I found this in a psychology site” NO. Psychology never said anything like that.
I’ve seen people boasting about how many times they fight with their partner every day and consider it as a positive thing in the measurement of love is actually terrifying. Love should be measured by the way how one makes you feel good and understood. Love should be measured by means of mutual growth, not by the number of fights and misunderstandings you have. People can experience true love once they unwired the toxic media culture and the patriarchy that has been deeply rooted in your brain for centuries. Trust me, it is the most wonderful, beautiful, magical enchanting feeling ever.
“You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi. I can tell that it’s gonna be a long road. I’ll be there if you’re the toast of the town, babe or if you strike out and you’re crawling home”From the song New years day by Taylor Swift.
Love is indeed a feeling of mutual understanding and growth. Love means that we have a shoulder to rely on during all kinds of things someone goes through, no matter whether it is good or bad. The feeling of having someone, their time, their thoughts, their feelings, their motivation, their trust, their reliability is the most comforting feeling ever.
The kind of “true love” I have described here is quite rare though. Seeing all the things on social media and movies, its really sad to see that we are living in a society like this. Seeing mutual growth and equality within romantic partners is a quite a sight to see. Let’s take an initiative to break this chain of toxicity with our generation!!!
Happy Valentines day!